Men are dogs: So get to scratching!

                The following is an excerpt from my up coming self help book of the same title.

     Through the years I've listened to several women complain about the men in their lives.The women have ranged from co-workers to family members, and the gripes have varied. I've heard, "he's to needy", "he doesn't like to go out", " he goes out too much", " he's too into his playstation", etc. etc. etc. After each complaint I wondered how these women ended up and stayed in a committed relationship with someone who they didn't seem happy with. Maybe I'm a little to idealistic, but shouldn't you be happy with your significant other? Shouldn't he be your "best friend"?
      Dare I say that I have the answer? Yes I dare! You see lady's we men are indeed the dogs that you so often refer to us as. So that's not the problem. The problem is that to many women simply pick the wrong dog. They don't do enough research into what breed is best suited for them. They to often fall for the latest trend in K-9's. "Oh "Marley And Me" was such a cute movie, I want a lab", " I love the Taco Bell chihuahua,I want a chihuahua". They run and get the animal with out taking into consideration the work and commitment necessary for the proper care of  each unique breed. You can't take your cute little chihuahua with you to the snow then wonder why he's not to happy to be there! Once you've had your lab for a few months, you can't leave it on a short leash in your back yard, he needs to be played with, He's a LABRADOR! 
              WARNING: CUTE AND CUDDLY CAN BECOME MEAN AND MANGY.
      I've never seen a mean and ugly St. Bearnard puppy or a mangy little rottweiler. I have however seen both of the aforementioned dogs as full grown terrors: Remember Cujo? Take the time to get to know his back ground. How was the dog raised? What are his parents like? If the parents have a bad temperament more then likely he will to. I know, I know;I have heard it countless times; "but he's soooo cute", "I can train him, he won't bite me." Then it bites your kid.
       If you keep your hyper cockerspaniel cucked up in the back yard and you don't play with him, you don't take him to the park for a run, you don't throw him a bone, he WILL make a run for it once you open the gate. No one wants the embarrassment of having your dog humping the neighbors leg if you know what I mean.I have known people who left their gates open and their dogs don't have any desire to stray. These are the animal lovers. They are the ones who buy the best foods, take their dogs on runs, buy them toys and pet them(heavily). These dogs are always wagging their tales at the site of their owners. These people have succeeded in obtaining life long loyalty. So how many of your dogs would make a run for it if the metaphorical gate was left open?  
        We men are simple creatures. We just want a dogs life. We just want to lick and love. If you know and respect our likes and dislikes, and you don't have unreasonable expectations of us, and you play with us how we each need to be played with. You will have a happy and extremely loyal partner. We will be there through even the worst of times. I've never seen a homeless person with a cat. So lady's get to scratching and let us do what we do best. And maybe you'll stop complaining.
      

Too many choices.

My wife recently ordered Netflix for our kid's Wii. If you are not familiar with what this is, it's a disk that Netflix sends you that you put into the Wii and after following a few simple set up instructions you can instantly watch movies through it. I thought this was pretty cool. We decided to watch a movie the other night, so I installed the disk and began. What I thought would be a quick browse through a few movies. The movie library turned out to be a lot larger then I expected. It was set up simple enough, you can choose by genre, new release or by T.V. shows. I scrolled through each genre excited to see movies that I had been wanting to see as well as movies that I wanted to re-watch. My wife was checking on me periodically to see if I made a decision. This is the time when I realized that I have a really hard time making a decision when I am presented with a large amount of choices.

I started thinking back to how long it takes me to make certain decisions, candy in a candy store, a video at Blockbuster, a channel on T.V., women. My wife has called me "picky", a label that I claim I am not. I've never considered myself a "picky" person. I've prided myself in being a well rounded guy. Maybe in my quest to be as well rounded as possible I have developed an eclectic taste in a variety of things that life has to offer. And because I enjoy a good action movie just as much as a romantic comedy, a chocolate covered almond just as much as a sour skittle, I get stuck in the decision making process. I get a little anxious when I'm picking out a candy. I don't want to buy something that a few bites into it I'm saying to myself," I should have got the Snickers." I had the candy store scenario with women as well. So many to choose from, straight hair, curly hair, smart ones, not so smart ones, sweet ones and sour ones, and nutty ones too. And to validate my fears, I picked the wrong one! Yes, I know, if I hadn't gotten married I wouldn't have my two wonderful kids. That still doesn't change the fact that I made the wrong choice. After that I took my time. I started really "reading the labels" and "checking the ingredients".

I discussed this with a couple of people the other day. They gave a few suggestions that they considered easy fixes to an over exaggerated problem. I was told "buy several candies." If I do that I might eat them all. As for the Netflix situation, their advise was to prioritize my genres, pick several movies and plan out my week. It sounds easy, however, I don't have that much time on my hands. I have a wife and kids who believe it or not, want my attention as well. Not to mention that I still have "The Karate Kid ", that I came across the other day while I was channel surfing in my DVR waiting for me to finish watching it.

Maybe I am picky. I might have to simply embrace my pickyness and stop looking at it as a fault. I was "picky" with women and now I'm married again. What I would have called "good comparison shopping" I now realize was being picky. I have not been disappointed. I took my time and got everything I wanted. Curly hair AND straight hair, a mixture of outdoor adventurer and couch potato and yes; a little sweet and sour.
So in retrospect, having a lot of options to choose from is a lot better than settling for whatevers available. I'd rather take a little extra time and increase my chances of satisfaction then to make a hasty decision and be unhappy with my choice.

         

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